Town Social Committee Meeting


"First of all, I would like to thank all of you for your continued commitment to the town social committee," said The Mayor. "It is a fundamental and vital building block of our community." She made a sweeping motion across the room, which she thought was very mayoral. "Now, I'm afraid I must begin this meeting with some distressing news. The banner for the kleptomaniac's ball has been stolen".

"No!" gasped Tim The Snatcher. "Not again, gosh darn it."

"Yes, it's quite a shame. Luckily that banner was poisoned so anyone who's had recent contact with it will be dead very soon. In related news we're going to need to hire a new custodian for convention center."

Tim The Snatcher suddenly appeared very nervous.

"Let's see, what's next on the agenda, Jerry?"

"The boogyman convention ma'am."

"Oh yes, I'm sure you all recall the terrible slaughter that occurred at the convention last year."

The social committee members nodded somberly.

"Obviously the slogan boogyman convention, for men who like to boogie, was a little misleading. We learned that boogymen and men who boogie are two vastly different beings and they do NOT mix well."

Tim let out a small cough, causing The Mayor to turn her attention to him.

"Oh, Tim are you feeling alright?"

The color appeared to be rapidly draining from his face.

"So good..." he coughed, "…love social committee." He gave weak thumbs up and motioned for The Mayor to continue.

"Wonderful," The Mayor smiled. "So, we're lucky the boogymen have decided to return to Our Town for this year's convention. It would seem, they actually had a lovely time last year. I've tasked Jerry with coming up with this year's slogan. What have you got Jerry?"

"I'm very excited about this one ma'am," he noted as he unrolled the poster he had designed. "You see, here at the top I've noted DANGER in bold red letters and then below it in parenthesis "Fun for Boogeymen", below that, NOT boogie-ing men. Then there's the disco ball with the dancing Boogeyman in the rainbow wig. Next to him we have a much smaller boogie-ing man. Just, for a size comparison. I wanted to note the danger for men who boogie, but also the fun for Boogymen."

"Well, that's perfectly clear Jerry. Astounding job. Still, make a note to have the new janitor ready the big power washers, just in case."

"Already noted."

"Excellent. What was the next item?"

"The Strawberry Festival ma'am"

"Oh yes."

A small amount of blood began to trickle down Tim's chin.

"I've decided to cancel the Strawberry Festival. So many people have strawberry allergies these days and I just don't want to upset anyone. Next item, Jerry."

Tim let out a great heave and blood gushed across the table covering the various social committee members. His head fell with a loud THUNK to the solid oak and his lifeless body followed as he slowly collapsed upon himself, landing in squishy pile of blood and meat on the floor.

"Put out the call for a new social committee member ma'am," said a committee member.

"Yes, yes. If you know anyone who might be interested, do let them know we have a recent opening. Thanks!"