I’m a vegetarian so I wasn’t sure about this place at first. There was a super charming guy outside that convinced us to go in, even though it was kind of dimly lit and uninviting. I couldn’t find very many reviews online except for one on TripAdvisor that just said, “this place is a literal murder dungeon. DO NOT GO HERE,” but it was three stars, so we decided to give it a shot!
The host had a hook hand and it made me really uncomfortable because what if I wanted to high five him? What would I even do? I guess just not high five him, but that seems rude. I think they should pick a more accommodating person to host who doesn’t have a hook hand and who doesn’t ask people a bunch of personal questions like what is your BMI, and have you ever rubbed rosemary all over your skin?
When we first got seated the dining room was kind of full but it seemed to empty out pretty quickly as the meal went on. It took forever for our waitress to bring us our food. She was hovering in a dark corner for most of the meal talking into an earpiece. At first I thought she was communicating with the kitchen but then I happened to overhear snippets of the conversation and she was like, complaining about her job! She was all “save me, I don’t want to be here. It’s totally a murder dungeon,” and I was like “excuse me but if you’re going to complain about your job at least do it off the floor where THE CUSTOMERS CAN HEAR EVERY WORD.”
The waitress wasn’t the only staff problem though. The chef kept lurking right behind the glass window into the kitchen starring at me all intensely. I ordered the liver and fava beans with a nice chianti, but of course without the liver because I am a vegetarian. Eventually he came out to our table and brought the liver. He was trying to convince me to eat it. Honestly, it looked so pretty and the chef had kind of a sad Williamsburg dad that you just want to tickle vibe. I almost took it just to make him smile but being a vegetarian is such a commitment you guys, and I’ve been doing to for, like, three days now, and I wasn’t going to let it go; even for that sweet haircut and adorable accent.
Eventually, the chef sort of hissed at me and went away, so I was able to enjoy my beans in peace for a while, until all of a sudden the place fills up with cops! One of them was wrestling with the chef and the dude just pulls out a human leg from THE KITCHEN and starts beating the cop with it. Can you believe that? A human leg in the kitchen, no plastic around it or anything, total health code violation. Anyway, they ended up putting a weird face hat on the chef (he probably had ebola or something) and dragging him away in handcuffs.
Naturally I asked to speak to the manager. I wanted a free meal and a 50% off coupon for in case we ever decided to come back. WE WOULD NEVER GO BACK, but it was more of the principal of the thing. Anyway the cops wouldn’t even tell me who the manager was and we didn’t have to pay for our meal but we did not get the requested coupon. Plus, the parking situation was terrible. Three Stars.